Dealing with the after effects of rape is a nightmare. The physical hurts can often soon be mended, but it's the inner pain that people can't see that takes longest. It's also the hardest to deal with because it's not like healing after surgery, there is no set time limit. The emotional scars can stay with us a lifetime.
PTSD is a reaction to being exposed to an
event which is outside the range of normal human experience. Sometimes
it is referred to as post traumatic rape syndrome too. It is a normal human
emotional reaction to an abnormal situation. Everyone reacts differently
to different situations and it doesn't have to be a life threatening experience
for someone to respond in this way. It just has to be perceived by the victim as a
traumatic event. It is a psychological phenomenon. It is an emotional condition,
from which it is possible to make a full and complete recovery.
PTSD affects hundreds of thousands of people who have been exposed to violent events
such as rape, domestic violence, child abuse, war, accidents, natural disasters
and political torture. It is normal to be affected by trauma. There is help, and
it is ok to ask for help. PTSD is not rare. It is not unusual. It is not weak to
have PTSD.
Traumatic experiences bring to the fore survival skills which are valuable and useful
at the time of the trauma, but which usually become less valuable, less useful and
less effective with time.
Sometimes survivors become stuck in problem behaviors when their pain is not
acknowledged, heard, respected, or understood. Denial plays a great part here
(it didn't happen, or it shouldn't affect you). Put-downs, dismissal of the pain,
mis-diagnosis and other forms of secondary wounding keep survivors stuck.
Symptoms may come on soon after the trauma or fifty years later. That is what is
meant by the post in PTSD. It is normal too for symptoms to come up again when
faced by further trauma and in very stressful times. It is normal to be affected
by trauma.
Society has it's own way of dealing with trauma which can both be belittling or
denying.
For a survivor to be told that what happened to them wasn't that bad, or was no big deal
or continually being told it was time that they were over it, or just try and forget
it ever happened cause secondary wounding in trauma survivors.
It reinforce the mistrust of everyone and everything that trauma evokes in all
survivors who no longer can believe that the universe is fair or just.
This ability to do whatever it takes to survive is instinctive. We all have it,
and in traumatic enough situations, it will come out or we die. Extreme
situations which trigger this reaction again and again may cause survivors to do
things in order to survive which can be hard to look back on later.
Similarly shutting down feelings in order to do whatever it takes to survive, or
do your job and help others survive, is a reality based survival skill. Numbness
is the answer. It is effective. It will help you live.
Unfortunately when survivors numb their fear, despair and anger, all their feelings,
even good ones, are numbed. Numbness is comfortable. Thinking about what they
have been through is so painful survivors wind up avoiding thinking about, feeling, or
doing anything that reminds them of the trauma. For example, if they feel the
trauma was their fault they may spend the rest of their life having to be right
so they won't ever be at fault again. If they were happy when the trauma hit,
they may avoid happiness forever.
These are simple guidelines that may help you to work out if you are suffering
from post traumatic stress disorder. I will go into more detail later
Intense fear, helplessness, or horror.
Intrusive symptoms can be described as those where the traumatic event "intrudes"
into everyday life, and is re-experienced. These symptoms are often referred to as
Flashbacks.
The event is so real and so vivid it feels like the person is actually experiencing
the trauma all over again. It is happening right in front of their eyes, and they
can't tell what is reality and what is memory.
These flashbacks can range in severity from mild and brief to long and strong. They
can involve both sensory perceptions and motor re-enactment too.
During a flashback you may experience vivid images, strong smells, or noises.
Some may even involve actually acting out a traumatic experience. Many times trauma
survivors don't recognize that
they are having a flashback nor remember afterwards what happened. It is not unusual
for someone to faint or dissociate during a flashback and be unable to recall
any part of the experience, even when a witness describes their behavior to them.
Sometimes after a flashback trauma survivors are aware of what triggered
especially if someone else observes the behavior and recounts it to them, or if
it is a recurring situation.
Sometimes these flashbacks occur as nightmares or bad dreams too.
There is some evidence to suggest that traumatic nightmares occur in the earlier,
lighter stage of sleep than other dreams, and are more easily recalled upon waking.
Traumatic dreams may however contain both accurate and inaccurate, literal and
symbolic, information and should always be interpreted with caution.
Sometimes there is no actual reliving of the trauma itself, but instead survivors
expereince a sudden painful emotional breakdown. These can involve crying, anger
or fear for no apparant reason, and can occur repeatedly like flashbacks.
Sometimes a flashback can involve just having feelings that are far more intense
than a situation calls for but would have been appropriate in the original
traumatic situation.
The important thing to remember about flashback experiences, especially those
related to abuse and rape survivors, is that they can make you feel as afraid,
as helpless, and as out of control as you were during the actual trauma,
even if you don't consciously remember it. Others have the
experience of losing their sense of where the flashback stops and reality
begins.
Symptoms of avoidance can be described as an emotional numbness or coldness towards
people who are close to us. Survivors shut people out, or push them away. This in turn
affects their relationships with those who are often the ones who are trying
hardest to help.
When survivors are coping with flashbacks it takes a lot of energy to try and supress the
flood of emotions that threaten to overwhelm them. They find that they have no real emotion
left for anyone else, and often feel emotionless or numb towards everyone else.
Inability to recall important aspects of the trauma, is another of the ways
avoidance and numbing may work. This means the person cannot remember exactly what happened.
Many trauma survivors forget in order to survive.
Survivors may also have learned to dissociate, to literally not be there, to
survive. They automatically "switch off" during a stressful situation becuase it
is too painful to deal with.
Numbness makes it hard for survivors to take care of themselves. Feelings are
there to tell us how to do that. If you can't tell what you feel, you can't choose
healthy behaviors for yourself.
Another symptom is avoidance of situations or activities that may trigger reminders of the
traumatic event. These are commonly referred to as "triggers" Other symptoms may
worsen when a situation or activity occurs that reminds them of the original trauma.
Often the survivor is unable to identity a trigger
without help from someone who knows about their traumatic experience.
Triggers can be people, places, sounds, images, feelings, smells, tastes, films,
animals, the tone of someone's voice, body positions or sensations, weatherconditions,
time factors, or any combination of things that even remotely resemble
traumatic experiences. They can be as subtle, complex and obscure as clues in a good
detective novel.
Survivors can become so scared of particular situations that their daily lives
are ruled by their attempts to avoid them.
PTSD sufferers' inability to work out grief and anger during the traumatic event
mean that the trauma will continue to control their behavior without their
being aware of it.
Depression is a common product of this inability to resolve painful feelings.
The survivor part of us is not able to listen to "reason". It is going
to be constantly looking for danger from now on whether or not others think
it is reasonable.
Real physiological changes occur in the brains of survivors which make them quick
to react. In order to live through the trauma, survivors may develop the capacity
to go from being completely fine into a killing rage in seconds. That defensive
mechanism helps them live.
Some survivors may stop sleeping soundly. Sleep can get you killed, so they
won't take the risk.
Survivors may be uncannily able to read the moods of those around them because the moods
of their abusers defined their lives.
Sometimes they also become hypervigilant, searching for physical danger everywhere
they are and all of the time.
Due to hypervigilance and lack of sleep, it is hard for survivors to concentrate on
everyday things. They may do poorly in school and in their everyday lives
that leads them to believe they are stupid or inept when actually they have a
symptom of PTSD.
Survivors often react faster and more completely to sudden
noises or movements. These are lifesaving skills that the survivor feels they
need while they are still at risk.
These are reality based, effective survival skills. They keep you alive.
They don't go away by themselves.
What is PTSD?
Criteria for
diagnosis of PTSD
The survivor must have experienced or confronted with an event that involved actual
or threatened injury, or a threat to their physical integrity. ie rape.
The survivor must show symptoms of intense fear, helplessness or horror.
The survivor must experience distressing recollections of the event.
ie flashbacks.
The survivor persistantly avoids things that remind them of the event. ie triggers
The survivor must be show significant distress or impairment by the event, either
in their social occupational or other important areas of functioning.
Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma) as
indicated by at least two of the following: difficulty falling or staying asleep;
irritability or outbursts of anger; difficulty concentrating; hypervigilance;
exaggerated startle response.
Symptoms must last at least one month.
Symptoms often present
in Rape Trauma
Repeated and distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts,
or perceptions. Unable to distinguish between past events and reality.
Such incidents are often called "flashbacks"
Distressing and or frightening dreams about the event.
Associating various words, happenings, or "triggers" to the actual event which
then causes a "flashback".
Avoidance of anything that may "trigger" a flashback including not talking
about the attack itself.
Pretending it never happened, and an inability to recall anything
about the attack, "denial".
A feeling of numness, detachment or "unrealness" about everything.
A lack of emotion or inability to feel love or care about anything.
A feeling of depression and isolation.
A change in sleep patterns. More often or not the ability to sleep
or stay asleep for any length of time.
A lack of concentration.
Avoidance of being touched, and shying away from loved ones. Sudden movements
may startle.
A lack of trust in anyone, even close family or partners.
More irritable than usual. Outbursts of anger and crying. Mood swwings.
A feeling of low self esteem and confidence.
A feeling of being dirty, or disgusting.
Deep embarasement or shame. Sometimes self blame for events.
Bitterness and morbid hatred of the perpetrator, with a preoccupation of
how to harm or humiliate them.
Loss of appetite or a change in eating patterns.
Intrusive
Symptoms:Flashbacks
Avoidance
Symptoms:triggers
Hyperarousal
Symptoms