Release

Where does reality begin and end,
does it lie within a circle's flow?
Am I Me from past or Me from now
and where did the old case go?

Did you know that it's easier to believe the bad
and think that we're the cause
Of hurts played out upon us deep
and deserved through Karmic Laws

Turned inside out and back again
the sense of who I was to be
Is caught in a drowning maelstrom
of Want and Fear and Need

Can you recognize the acrid smell of fear,
or see what color it paints your dreams?
Have you ever willed your lungs to breathe
while praying that breath would cease?

Did you know that breaking bones go crunch
and the sound will never leave your ears?
Did you know that bodies break, not bend,
as the spirit fills with tears?

Did you know that blood's a lubricant
and you will pray for it to spill,
When the sound from your lungs is a rabbit's scream,
harsh and thin and shrill

And that dying forces can overcome us
and some scars never heal,
That you can't find who you are inside
and where to connect to what is real

You think he can't enter your spirit,
that you're fighting off the blows
But time reflects your error as he settles
deeper than even your Psyche knows

I wear the mask, I dance the dance
of a woman free from scars and pain,
But remove the mask and I'm unrecognizable
even though I look the same

Dear Lord, haven't I had enough?
Why can't I bleed away pain from my soul?
Why can't wishing and willing and wanting to
be enough to make me whole?

By C.S.E.