I was young, probably only 5 or 6, too young to know what was going on, old enough to remember. I had two main offenders, both separate incidents. One was my best friends brother, the other was my next door neighbor. Let me start with my best friends’ brother.
It started when I went to her house one day and we were totally bored. We were just sitting on her bed talking, and in he came, he noticed that we were bored and offered to play a game. As we needed something to do, we accepted, thinking that it would be fun, after all, he said it was one of his favorites. He called it doctors. We were soon to find out that the game was not quite what we expected.
I would start with us sitting on the bed, and him checking us out, making sure there was nothing wrong, but he always found something he had to operate on. He would move his hands around our bodies; one of us at the time, the other would sit on the corner of the bed and cry.
He would start with something simple, like appendicitis, but soon there would be a complication, and he would have to fix up places elsewhere. I think it is obvious where I am talking about. He would sit there and play with my vagina for hours; my friend would sit there watching. I would sit crying. I often, (about every 5 minutes) told him I didn’t like it and wanted him to stop, but my wishes didn’t seem to matter to him, he continued playing his awful game.
When he had finished with me, he would move onto his sister, and make me watch, while he ‘operated’ on her. It was awful, I hated seeing him do that to her, I often shut my eyes and although I'm not religious, I prayed.
This happened almost every time I went to her house, which was quite often, as we were almost inseparable. He would ask us to play, I would say no, but my friend would say it was ok, and that I had to play. I hated that game, why didn’t he listen to my crying? Why didn’t he care, that my body was private, and I wanted it to stay that way?
This game went on almost the whole time I was friends with this girl, which was till I was about 10. For so many years I endured this pain, I shared this pain with her, and yet no body knew
The next of my attackers, my next door neighbor, attacked me sometime during the time I was being abused by my friends brother. Let me explain.
He had a brother, to whom my brother became friends, I was often sent next door to tell my brother to come home for dinner. There was a hole in the fence that I used to climb through. I never really liked my neighbor much, something about him had always scared me, and I was about to find out what.
One day, as usual, I was climbing through the hole in the fence, near the hole was a bush, which sat in front of their kitchen window. Next to the hole was a chicken shed. He had been hiding behind the bush. I stood up, and turned to walk around the house to the backdoor, unknowing of his presence. I felt something behind me, and tried to turn around, I couldn’t, all I heard was this voice saying, just do as your told, just shut up and do as your told.
They were the most frightening words I had ever and will ever hear in my life. He dragged me to the chicken shed and threw me on the floor saying, if you don’t do as your told I’ll feed you to the roosters. I was young, I believed him. I was so frightened, I thought the roosters were going to eat me.
He started trying to undress me. I tried to resist but he was so much stronger. then everything goes blank, i cant remember a thing for about the next ten or fifteen munutes. when i start to remember, my pants were on the ground net to me, and my vagina hurt, you can decide what you believed happened. i hate these two men, and any other person who feels they have a right to treat people this way, it is revolting, and we must stand up and do something about it...
After all that is where the part about my ex comes in. the ex thing happened only about three months ago. anyway thank you for listening, this letter took me two days to write, but i feel much better now.
hugs everyone
luv Chelle
Last updated 29th October 1998